Ok, before I start I would want everyone to read with an open mind as this is neither a true life diary or fiction- it's a mishmash of fact and fiction- so you can call it whatever you wish…
The Diary:
I guess it all started the day he looked into the mirror and saw a very charming and handsome version of himself or probably the day two girlfriends wanted to sleep with him in the same bed in one night or maybe that evening on the 2nd of February that his father's driver told him that he was too good looking and posh to belong to one girl.
It wasn't clear to me what the reason for his aberration was, but I knew he was loved like 'bottom belle' among the female folks and he loved them right back like a 'He goat' in heat (clears throat). He went through girls as fast as 'Nollywood' went through movies, he was so good at it 'Omo men' me sef come dey jealous.
*Wait a minute(shiirt I don f*ck up)
Did I mention his first girl broke his heart? Yes!!! Delilahs like my brother would say. She came up with some story about them moving too fast and so she had to call it quits only for her to get on 'Tokyo Drift' with his friend two weeks thereafter( mtcheeeew , now cursing)
A year rolled by and on the 10th of January, I went to visit a childhood friend and I met 'HIM' there. He was humming a song before we greeted and shook hands. It was only when we parted that I recognized the song he was humming- it was the famous MALTINA theme song- "I feel goooooooOooooooooOd Tananananananana" .
Now Ol' boy, I had never seen him this happy in all our 15 years of friendship and later that evening he told he met a girl on his way back and that she was different from the rest. 'Like joke like joke' they dated for much many years and we lost our playboy for ever. He promised her that as long as she was true to him that he would love her for ever, and he was not joking about that. Their love was divine and so they lived happily ever after.
*End of story*
LMAO (Ok guys sorry about that- the gist is still plenty). In any case, the ship that carried their promise of love suddenly encountered a resilient and strong storm which you; my friends might perceive as usual, but this one was different because it was hit hard by the little pretty mermaids of this generation (Fast girls).
Then came the trust issues, the sex dramas and the emotional fluctuations as erratic as PHCN's electricity and dwindling faster than the 'Price of petrol' in Nigeria. They both started letting go.
On the 1st of April; one week to his birthday she walked into his room and caught him making out with a girl he just met the day before (ghen ghen)!!!
Her worst fears caught up with her that day, she cried out her heart as he tried to explain but nothing he said meant a thing to her. He cuddled her to sleep that night but that was the last time they ever spoke or touched. (Serves him right abi? – girls please don't answer)
Now am sitting here with my "SINGLE BLACK FRIEND" in our hotel room, wasted from four cans of Alomo Bitters (God bless Ghana) and an almost finished bottle of Black Label waiting for his brother's party to begin by 11pm down stairs at the club.
Then he CALLED me but I was too high to recognize his voice- I turned, lo and behold; my guy was crying and kept speaking spontaneously like a man possessed by LEGION:
"I GUESS it was the day she told me that we should stop having sex OR was it not the day she made it clear that she was not sure if she could wait for me to make it BIG before marriage? No, no no; I think it was the day my friends told me that it was lame for me to have one girl for that long without PLAYING outside…"
In any case people, no matter how much he guessed: one thing was SURE – He is a Heart broken and will remain, at least for the time being; A SINGLE BLACK BOY!
It wasn't clear to me what the reason for his aberration was, but I knew he was loved like 'bottom belle' among the female folks and he loved them right back like a 'He goat' in heat (clears throat). He went through girls as fast as 'Nollywood' went through movies, he was so good at it 'Omo men' me sef come dey jealous.
*Wait a minute(shiirt I don f*ck up)
Did I mention his first girl broke his heart? Yes!!! Delilahs like my brother would say. She came up with some story about them moving too fast and so she had to call it quits only for her to get on 'Tokyo Drift' with his friend two weeks thereafter( mtcheeeew , now cursing)
A year rolled by and on the 10th of January, I went to visit a childhood friend and I met 'HIM' there. He was humming a song before we greeted and shook hands. It was only when we parted that I recognized the song he was humming- it was the famous MALTINA theme song- "I feel goooooooOooooooooOd Tananananananana" .
Now Ol' boy, I had never seen him this happy in all our 15 years of friendship and later that evening he told he met a girl on his way back and that she was different from the rest. 'Like joke like joke' they dated for much many years and we lost our playboy for ever. He promised her that as long as she was true to him that he would love her for ever, and he was not joking about that. Their love was divine and so they lived happily ever after.
*End of story*
LMAO (Ok guys sorry about that- the gist is still plenty). In any case, the ship that carried their promise of love suddenly encountered a resilient and strong storm which you; my friends might perceive as usual, but this one was different because it was hit hard by the little pretty mermaids of this generation (Fast girls).
Then came the trust issues, the sex dramas and the emotional fluctuations as erratic as PHCN's electricity and dwindling faster than the 'Price of petrol' in Nigeria. They both started letting go.
On the 1st of April; one week to his birthday she walked into his room and caught him making out with a girl he just met the day before (ghen ghen)!!!
Her worst fears caught up with her that day, she cried out her heart as he tried to explain but nothing he said meant a thing to her. He cuddled her to sleep that night but that was the last time they ever spoke or touched. (Serves him right abi? – girls please don't answer)
Now am sitting here with my "SINGLE BLACK FRIEND" in our hotel room, wasted from four cans of Alomo Bitters (God bless Ghana) and an almost finished bottle of Black Label waiting for his brother's party to begin by 11pm down stairs at the club.
Then he CALLED me but I was too high to recognize his voice- I turned, lo and behold; my guy was crying and kept speaking spontaneously like a man possessed by LEGION:
"I GUESS it was the day she told me that we should stop having sex OR was it not the day she made it clear that she was not sure if she could wait for me to make it BIG before marriage? No, no no; I think it was the day my friends told me that it was lame for me to have one girl for that long without PLAYING outside…"
In any case people, no matter how much he guessed: one thing was SURE – He is a Heart broken and will remain, at least for the time being; A SINGLE BLACK BOY!
LOVELY WRITE UP.....VERY NICE
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